


The Sound of Words

by Linane



Series: The Sound of Silence [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Soulmates, fili and kili are not related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 00:12:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7954498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linane/pseuds/Linane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>You will need to read <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/5842531">The Sound of Silence</a> for this story to make sense.</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Sound of Words

**Author's Note:**

> You will need to read [The Sound of Silence](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5842531) for this story to make sense.

 

Fili used to think of death often.

Used to wonder what would be left of him. Sometimes he’d trace the outline of the eye sockets through his skin and try to imagine what shape his skull might be. He’d seen death in the streets; he knew there was no dignity in it. He knew he had nothing he could leave behind, except the bones he was made of.

Today he traces the delicate lines in the tender skin around his eyes and thinks of Kili leaning in to kiss them. He thinks of slightly incredulous snort that follows and a sharp tug that allows him to nip at the coarse texture of Kili’s jawline.

He thinks maybe one day, when he is gone, a memory of laughter might be left behind.

He’d like that.

 

\---

 

It’s hard at first.

When Kili brings him back home from the hospital (Fili is automatically covered by Kili’s _Plus 1_ insurance policy) he feels like he’s been thrust into a stranger’s life.

So Fili watches and Kili smiles.

They don’t look at each other when Kili changes the bandages.

He isn’t made for pity, and he bristles every time he thinks he’s offered some. He’ll understand in the years to come that it was never _about pity_.

Like always, it’s about the words.

Kili expects an avalanche of words that Fili surely held back since he was thirteen, just for him. He expects the need to bond and confide in him, the need to share and trust.

When it doesn’t come, he starts wondering what it is that he’s doing wrong.

Kili is lonely; lifelong-worth of lonely, but that too Fili won’t understand until much later.

Fili is lonely too; bone-deep lonely, so much so that he doesn’t know how not to be that way, doesn’t know that it’s possible to belong to someone, but also be free.

For a time they hurt, together, but more apart really than before they met, and Fili wonders what good a Soulmate is, if his presence alone seems to cause so much pain.

 

\---

 

Eventually they work out a system.

Fili learns to leave when it all becomes too much. Too much human presence, too many words, looks, laughter, the constant care and attention directed at him.

In silence and darkness he finds himself again, notices the little changes and tries to hold on.

Kili learns to let him go.

Some indeterminable amount of time later Kili comes in with a mug of hot chocolate and that unbearably kind smile again. He leans down to place a kiss on top of Fili’s head and leaves him without uttering a single word.

He doesn’t try to coax Fili to come out (he used to, before) and it’s the gratitude that finally inspires the need to heal, to put himself back together.

Eventually Fili finds himself back in the living room, asking for the lights to be dimmed down and watching as Kili switches them off altogether and moves to light the candles instead.

“I’d like to meet her first,” he says carefully, watching Kili’s reaction. “But not yet. I think she will be disappointed.”

“She’s my mother. She’ll be overjoyed and she’ll want to feed you until you’re fit to burst. I expect somewhere between the chicken wings and the apple crumble she’ll start loving you and that’ll be that. But I’ll be there too, I’ll help. It’s quieter out there, in the countryside.”

Fili nods slowly in acknowledgement. “Not yet,” he repeats, maintaining the eye contact.

“Okay.”

 

\---

 

He knows it’s getting dangerous when Kili falls asleep in his lap. He watches his face, squished against Fili’s thigh and he finds his fingers lost in his hair, clumsily trying to weave the strands into something like a braid.

It falls apart within moments and Fili frowns and starts over again.

In the reflection on the dark screen of the television across the room he can see peace in his eyes and it feels like he’s about to jerk himself awake.

 

\---

 

In Dis Fili finds a friend, which he thinks suits him more than having a One.

It helps that she too is Voiceless, so can’t rub his nerves raw with constant chatter, like Kili does; they both understand what it’s like.

“Mum, this is Fili. He’s my One.”

He sees the unspoken questions; decides to answer them before Kili can complicate things.

“I was homeless when you met me,” he tells his Soulmate quietly. “I was lying freezing cold by your skip, when you ordered me inside your house. You saved my life.”

He looks deep into Kili’s wide, brown eyes and then moves to watch Dis’ face - her eyes so similar in shape, but so much darker, framed by a crisp line of immaculate eyeliner, giving her an almost girly appearance.

She watches him right back, but he gets no pity from her, only something like a brief flash of anger, and then arms, pulling him into a tight embrace.

He can see where Kili gets it from; this spark of stubborn energy.

He can see how Kili can still _care_.

 

\---

 

He’s ready when it happens.

They’re sitting on a fallen tree branch, letting their feet cool down in the stream, careless of the water splashing against their rolled up trousers.

Kili is talking about bats, which can be sometimes found in these forests, and how his amateur photographs of them landed him his first job in a local paper.

He’s so full of life and cheerful enthusiasm that in the interest of protecting his moody reputation, Fili is forced to kiss him.

“You know, not all the Bonds are about love,” Kili tells him and Fili didn’t know his voice could drop so low. “If it isn’t for you, you don’t have to –“

That’s when Fili is forced to kiss him again.

 

\---

 

It’s the early morning hours, so early in fact, that the night is only beginning her flirt with the first hazy hues of pink and purple.

“I’ll come with you to Africa,” he says into the comfortable, slowly saturating silence.

“Thank you,” Kili whispers back, before kissing his forehead.

“I will need your help.”

“I know.”

“I will need you.”

“You have me.”

It’s funny how having all the words in the world available to them, it takes them so long to find the right ones.

 

\---

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr.](http://linane-art.tumblr.com/)


End file.
